Friday, January 30, 2004
Dice Bombs, Magic Monkeys, & Other Ramblings
Today is the birthday of Jonathan O'Connell brother of Timothy O'Connell,
the guy who injection-molded the world's first Dice Bomb chamber.
Happy Birthday Jonathan!
--
TOP FIVE SIGNS MAGIC IS NOT FOR YOU
5. That Dice Bomb rocks! And I mean rocks!
4. You believe there's nothing more satisfying than cozying up to the fire
with a nice cup of java and some legible and well-illustrated lecture notes.
3. An unrelenting desire to show those mean little kids exactly who's in
charge.
2. $10 for a magic trick?
...and the number one sign magic is not for you...
1. An unwillingness to drop your pants.
--
UNOFFICIAL MASTER MAGICIANS' QUESTIONNAIRE (Part CXVII)
The surprise revelation of a signed selected card remains one of the most
powerful and oft-explored branches of card performance style. Since the
time playing cards were first introduced by Queen Elizabeth I's court
jester, Jingles IV, the library of revelation routines has continued to
grow unabated. What do scholars generally agree is one of the more
compelling routines ever developed?
(a) Aftercard: A card is freely selected, signed, and replaced in the deck
by a spectator. Spectator then begins to feel ill, but is not sure why.
Spectator then succumbs to massive coronary and is rushed to hospital.
While in ambulance, spectator's heart stops and spectator begins journeying
down a dark tunnel at the end of which is a dazzling light and visions of
long-lost relatives. One of them is seen to be holding selection. Spectator
is revived. Comes complete with everything you need including beautifully
silk-screened defibrillator and patter.
(b) Cardworld: A card is freely selected, signed, and replaced in the deck
by a spectator. Spectator then auditions for role in over-budget movie
being produced by a megalomaniac. The movie is released to much fanfare but
bombs at the box office. Spectator, who feels their performance was
unfairly panned by a local movie critic, then confronts the movie critic in
a car in the parking lot of the local newspaper. Much ballyhoo ensues and
words are exchanged. The critic speeds off leaving a treadmark. It reveals
the spectator's selection. Plays big, packs small.
(b) White Glove Revelation: A card is freely selected, signed, and replaced
in the deck by a spectator. Performer then takes spectator to a famous solo
artist's sold-out stadium concert. With the help of backstage passes,
spectator befriends solo artist and is invited to his private amusement
park. While at amusement park, a monkey gets jammed in ferris wheel
mechanism and is fatally injured. Found within the monkey's innards is the
spectator's selection. Comes complete with cards, concert ticket, and that
special something.
(d) Time-Ace Continuum: On way to magic show, spectator finds a signed card
in their front pants pocket. Once at the show, a card is freely selected,
signed, and replaced in the deck by the spectator. Already came complete
with everything.
(e) Rams-Ace: A card is freely selected, signed, and replaced in the deck
by a spectator. The performer then enslaves the balance of the spectators
and forces them to build a series of gargantuan structures of worship to
various pagan gods. A virgin from among the enslaved spectators is then
sacrificed on some enormous altar to appease these pagan gods and the body
is then embalmed and mummified. The performer and the original spectator
then enter a time machine and go two thousand years into the future
whereupon they encounter some English expedition that is exploring the
virgin mummy's tomb. The mummy's sarcophagus is opened and everyone is
exposed to some evil curse. After being chased half across the globe by
this mummy, the performer and spectator seek refuge in a mud hut in remote
Madagascar. Taped to the ceiling inside the hut is the spectator's
selection. Comes complete with everything. You supply the time machine.
--
JD
the guy who injection-molded the world's first Dice Bomb chamber.
Happy Birthday Jonathan!
--
TOP FIVE SIGNS MAGIC IS NOT FOR YOU
5. That Dice Bomb rocks! And I mean rocks!
4. You believe there's nothing more satisfying than cozying up to the fire
with a nice cup of java and some legible and well-illustrated lecture notes.
3. An unrelenting desire to show those mean little kids exactly who's in
charge.
2. $10 for a magic trick?
...and the number one sign magic is not for you...
1. An unwillingness to drop your pants.
--
UNOFFICIAL MASTER MAGICIANS' QUESTIONNAIRE (Part CXVII)
The surprise revelation of a signed selected card remains one of the most
powerful and oft-explored branches of card performance style. Since the
time playing cards were first introduced by Queen Elizabeth I's court
jester, Jingles IV, the library of revelation routines has continued to
grow unabated. What do scholars generally agree is one of the more
compelling routines ever developed?
(a) Aftercard: A card is freely selected, signed, and replaced in the deck
by a spectator. Spectator then begins to feel ill, but is not sure why.
Spectator then succumbs to massive coronary and is rushed to hospital.
While in ambulance, spectator's heart stops and spectator begins journeying
down a dark tunnel at the end of which is a dazzling light and visions of
long-lost relatives. One of them is seen to be holding selection. Spectator
is revived. Comes complete with everything you need including beautifully
silk-screened defibrillator and patter.
(b) Cardworld: A card is freely selected, signed, and replaced in the deck
by a spectator. Spectator then auditions for role in over-budget movie
being produced by a megalomaniac. The movie is released to much fanfare but
bombs at the box office. Spectator, who feels their performance was
unfairly panned by a local movie critic, then confronts the movie critic in
a car in the parking lot of the local newspaper. Much ballyhoo ensues and
words are exchanged. The critic speeds off leaving a treadmark. It reveals
the spectator's selection. Plays big, packs small.
(b) White Glove Revelation: A card is freely selected, signed, and replaced
in the deck by a spectator. Performer then takes spectator to a famous solo
artist's sold-out stadium concert. With the help of backstage passes,
spectator befriends solo artist and is invited to his private amusement
park. While at amusement park, a monkey gets jammed in ferris wheel
mechanism and is fatally injured. Found within the monkey's innards is the
spectator's selection. Comes complete with cards, concert ticket, and that
special something.
(d) Time-Ace Continuum: On way to magic show, spectator finds a signed card
in their front pants pocket. Once at the show, a card is freely selected,
signed, and replaced in the deck by the spectator. Already came complete
with everything.
(e) Rams-Ace: A card is freely selected, signed, and replaced in the deck
by a spectator. The performer then enslaves the balance of the spectators
and forces them to build a series of gargantuan structures of worship to
various pagan gods. A virgin from among the enslaved spectators is then
sacrificed on some enormous altar to appease these pagan gods and the body
is then embalmed and mummified. The performer and the original spectator
then enter a time machine and go two thousand years into the future
whereupon they encounter some English expedition that is exploring the
virgin mummy's tomb. The mummy's sarcophagus is opened and everyone is
exposed to some evil curse. After being chased half across the globe by
this mummy, the performer and spectator seek refuge in a mud hut in remote
Madagascar. Taped to the ceiling inside the hut is the spectator's
selection. Comes complete with everything. You supply the time machine.
--
JD
Thursday, January 29, 2004
Magic Pens, Magic Pylons, & Other Ramblings
Howdy. Many of you are already familiar with JD's Ramblings. For those among you who are not, they are a delightful, compelling (gripping, really) look at the world of magic and magicians through my demented eyes.
For now, I'm posting repeats. When I get the time, I'll start posting new ones, so back off fer chrissake, ok? OK? Man...
Anyways...
Enjoy.
Warning: Although it is called "Pen Thru Anything", this doesn't mean you should put the pen through anything.
If you don't trust me on this one, then trust hotel security...
--
True story: Way, way, way, way, way, way back, long before many of you were born, when it snowed so deep, and it rained so long...anyway, it was the Summer of 1987. I was living in Canada's capital city, Ottawa. Ottawa is a native term for Ottawa. It means Ottawa.
So I'm at a party. I'm on this big, wood balcony. I'm talking to this girl; her name is Rita. And, no, she is not a lovely meter maid. I'm dying to show her a trick, but can't think of anything impromptu.
So what to do? Absolute truth...I see this 4' to 5' long, perfect strand of spider's web. No web per say, just this long strand, with maybe the first basic framework of a web under construction. There were even these cute, little, orange, spider-sized pylons. No there weren't, but that would have been cool.
Looking for a plausible excuse to run in and get some scotch tape, I tell Rita that I've got a horrible gastrointestinal condition that causes my bowels to gorge out big chunks of my intestines every two weeks and that if I don't get to a big sink really soon, there's going to be blood everywhere.
In retrospect, I should have just told her I had to go in for a sec'.
No, I didn't do this, but I think it would have really turned her off...good thing I didn't.
I run into the apartment's kitchen, grab a piece of scotch tape, come back out, affix the free end of the strand (I might have broken it off, I don't remember...and I'm only saying this in the event that some entymologist with nothing better to do comes on to flame me on the low probability of finding a loose-ended piece of spider's web) to my shirt and proceed to perform the FB in the style popularized by the great John Kennedy in the early 80s.
Rita was, needless to say, blown away. I'd like to say I was as well, but it didn't happen. Sigh.
I have never forgotten that moment; outstanding. I was, for but a wee moment, one with nature.
Nor have I ever forgotten Susan.
Do you think the Three Stooges would have thought to do this? If not, why do people revere them so?
--
Next time you're on a plane, bring a magic book. Leave it open at the chapter on 'Peeks & Glimpses'. Make sure your seatmate notices it.
When they get up to go to the can, follow them. When they come back out, go back to your seat as well, without using the can. Make sure you have a big, demented smile on your face.
It helps if you don't know the person.
--
Why do magic authors, at the beginning of the trick, always tell us to hold the cards in "Left hand dealing position"? I mean, if they didn't say dealing position, would you sit there going "S***, how do I hold these? Let's see, maybe if I turn my hand over and balance the cards on the back of my hand...
Ask a non-magician (not layperson, we're not priests...well, not generally, although some of us may be celibate and, thus, the reason we are desperately learning tricks, any trick, anything, anything to get a little attention ) to hold a deck of cards and tell me if I'm out to lunch.
--
Speaking of planes, I travel on them way too much. I generally like to avoid speaking to the person in the seat next to me, other than a polite hello -- I'm not anti-social, there are other reasons -- so I always make a point of putting on the headphones as soon as I sit down.
To make sure they don't try to start a conversation, I start humming along with the music and bobbing my head.
Once in a while, I'll even go so far as to plug in the headphones.
--
JD
For now, I'm posting repeats. When I get the time, I'll start posting new ones, so back off fer chrissake, ok? OK? Man...
Anyways...
Enjoy.
Warning: Although it is called "Pen Thru Anything", this doesn't mean you should put the pen through anything.
If you don't trust me on this one, then trust hotel security...
--
True story: Way, way, way, way, way, way back, long before many of you were born, when it snowed so deep, and it rained so long...anyway, it was the Summer of 1987. I was living in Canada's capital city, Ottawa. Ottawa is a native term for Ottawa. It means Ottawa.
So I'm at a party. I'm on this big, wood balcony. I'm talking to this girl; her name is Rita. And, no, she is not a lovely meter maid. I'm dying to show her a trick, but can't think of anything impromptu.
So what to do? Absolute truth...I see this 4' to 5' long, perfect strand of spider's web. No web per say, just this long strand, with maybe the first basic framework of a web under construction. There were even these cute, little, orange, spider-sized pylons. No there weren't, but that would have been cool.
Looking for a plausible excuse to run in and get some scotch tape, I tell Rita that I've got a horrible gastrointestinal condition that causes my bowels to gorge out big chunks of my intestines every two weeks and that if I don't get to a big sink really soon, there's going to be blood everywhere.
In retrospect, I should have just told her I had to go in for a sec'.
No, I didn't do this, but I think it would have really turned her off...good thing I didn't.
I run into the apartment's kitchen, grab a piece of scotch tape, come back out, affix the free end of the strand (I might have broken it off, I don't remember...and I'm only saying this in the event that some entymologist with nothing better to do comes on to flame me on the low probability of finding a loose-ended piece of spider's web) to my shirt and proceed to perform the FB in the style popularized by the great John Kennedy in the early 80s.
Rita was, needless to say, blown away. I'd like to say I was as well, but it didn't happen. Sigh.
I have never forgotten that moment; outstanding. I was, for but a wee moment, one with nature.
Nor have I ever forgotten Susan.
Do you think the Three Stooges would have thought to do this? If not, why do people revere them so?
--
Next time you're on a plane, bring a magic book. Leave it open at the chapter on 'Peeks & Glimpses'. Make sure your seatmate notices it.
When they get up to go to the can, follow them. When they come back out, go back to your seat as well, without using the can. Make sure you have a big, demented smile on your face.
It helps if you don't know the person.
--
Why do magic authors, at the beginning of the trick, always tell us to hold the cards in "Left hand dealing position"? I mean, if they didn't say dealing position, would you sit there going "S***, how do I hold these? Let's see, maybe if I turn my hand over and balance the cards on the back of my hand...
Ask a non-magician (not layperson, we're not priests...well, not generally, although some of us may be celibate and, thus, the reason we are desperately learning tricks, any trick, anything, anything to get a little attention ) to hold a deck of cards and tell me if I'm out to lunch.
--
Speaking of planes, I travel on them way too much. I generally like to avoid speaking to the person in the seat next to me, other than a polite hello -- I'm not anti-social, there are other reasons -- so I always make a point of putting on the headphones as soon as I sit down.
To make sure they don't try to start a conversation, I start humming along with the music and bobbing my head.
Once in a while, I'll even go so far as to plug in the headphones.
--
JD
